King Con

First off welcome!! In addition, the last time I gave you a bit of Baldoism; it was in regards to the smoking ban. However, today I’m addressing the issue of my mom, A.K.A. King Con. For those of you who don’t know I recently lost my mom two months ago. Losing my mom has not been easy, but today I would like to share a side of my mom that some knew, but not all had the joy and honor of knowing. My mom was a woman who had a wonderful sense of humor and brought joy to many. She had would snap out a euphemism quicker than anyone I knew, or you could be victim to her quick wit. King Con was not one to miss a beat. You’re wondering why I refer to her as King Con, well her name was Connie. And when I was in High school I had a friend one time refer to her as King Con and it stuck, of course she never knew about(at least I don’t think so). So, as I share some tales of King Con, be prepared to laugh, cry, or even laugh so hard you cry.
Where to start, so many funny stories pop out in my head about my mom. One that I remember was a time when I had a friend stay the night. This particular event took place at the dinner table, I in all my charm decided it would be cute and cleverly to flip off my mom. I did this as I raised my glass to take a drink of milk, of course not to be out done, and without missing a beat, she in return did the same. At the time, I thought I was being brave and bold, but little did I know she wouldn’t care. We laughed in the moment I’m not sure what was said, but I don’t remember getting in trouble. I’m not sure if it was because I had a friend there or because my mom was that laid back. I mean I was the third child and my brother and sister were long gone from home. King Con always seemed to tolerate more than most of my friends parents. Another time that sticks out, and it was the same friend that was over, but another night was when my mom was in a hurry to get to her bedroom to “Watch TV” with her boyfriend and she accidently put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. About five minutes into the cycle, my friends says “Umm Heather I think you might want to get your Mom” After I saw the suds all over the floor in the kitchen, I remember looking at my friend and then thinking: crap I don’t want to go get my mom, but I knew I had to and needless to say she was not pleased with the interruption. However, if she had not been in such a hurry to “Watch TV” this might not have occurred. I also at the time was wondering what was so good on TV, that she had to run to the bedroom, but as an adult, I now know, and the thought makes me a bit ill. (Thanks mom!!) Although she swore up and down it never happened, Odd how our parents remember things and claim they never happened. However, that moment has created a great topic of conversation for years now and I’m sure will years from now. Another great incident was what I like to refer to as the Tupperware smack down!!!!! The way it happened was all so in the moment, I remember her being on the phone and as any kid, and I thought that meant I could get away with more. I’m not sure if it was my mouth or actions that caused this, (knowing me it was probably both…hehe) but I remember she was upset and grabbed the Tupperware bowl next to me an smacked me with it a few good times. And as I got older, I would get more courage when I did something and say did you want me to get the Tupperware mom? That was the beauty of my mom I could always joke with her.
Subsequently, there are my favorite euphemism sayings that she would say when I did or asked something. Like if I came out dressed and ready for school, and she thought my hair wasn’t combed properly she would instinctively say: What did you comb your hair with a wagon wheel. Of course being her daughter I would respond: Yup! And of course, I knew as soon as I said it I had better duck and make sure all Tupperware was out of site. Another, of my favorites was when I asked her who was on the phone, at first she would ignore and go on with her conversation. So I would stand there asking who, mom, who, and in King Con fashion, she would respond: Are your feet fit for a limb? Of course, at first, I didn’t understand what she was saying and until I knew what this meant I stopped asking her who was on the phone. I will say I have used it on my son and it still has the same affect today. Another classic she used was if she went to visit people or they came to visit her she would always say: Glad you got to see me! LOL, of course my mother would say this and people would turn and look at her like what did you just say? I heard this many times from her, and there was a period when I used it, because I liked the reaction it would create. It’s a fun statement I recommend you try it once or twice, King Con would want it that way.
My mother was a true Gem, and she always had some pearls of Wisdom. One that is still my favorite, which I laugh about often, is that after I had my son. We were talking about his father and she chimed up with her famous Dr. Phil quote “How’s that working for Ya?” Let me tell you, she loved her Dr. Phil and would quote him at any given moment. I can hear her now “you know Dr. Phil says, or I was watching Dr. Phil today and he said.” Of course, you never knew when she would direct it at you. Then in King Con fashion, last Nov she chimed up with “You know Dr. Phil says if you’re not married by the time your 35, you won’t get married” Needless to say my jaw hit the ground and of course the jokes stared. Thus not to let it go one of friends and I went to a Lions football game for Thanksgiving and my friend made the sign “Husband need, Dr. Phil and my mom say I have two good years left.” I have to say I held the sign up with pride in hopes of getting on TV, or a Husband. I mean heck two years isn’t much time, and now I’m almost down to a year. So if you’re an employed man, and you have a pulse get at me!!! .....Those are just a few of the wonderful moments I had with my mom, and even in her final hours she could still give a look or a gesture and make you laugh. I remember a moment at the Hospital her best friend was trying to get her attention and said “Connie Lynn if you can hear me raise your hand” of course none of us knew that as she was raising her hand she would also give one-handed salute. Well maybe we did, but either way it is a moment I will remember forever. Along with many other wonderful things about my mom. In closing I would like to say my mom was one of a kind, and now I can hear her voice saying “Maybe in your next life you’ll get a better mother” to which I would say I don’t, and I couldn’t have had a better mother nor do I want another. Mom you were one in a Million RIP and I love!!!

Connie Lynn (Walker) Mak

1945-2010

Land of the Free????

Disclaimer: This might be offensive to some, but remember keep in mind it’s A FREE COUNTRY, AND I PAY MY TAXES, SO I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT I’M ABOUT TO!

Here in Michigan this Saturday a ban for no smoking in bars and restaurants goes into effect. I realize we are not the first state to do this. I understand that there are people who would like to go some place and not smell smoke. I realize it is there right to lobby for this bill to go through. I realize this because it is America we live in. With that being said isn’t my right to be able to go into a bar and have a drink and smoke. Hell that’s half the reason I go to the bar. Now the lawmakers say I can’t have a drink and a cig at the same time. Screw you Granholm, you have screwed up or state so bad and this is another one of those choices that is screwing us here. In addition, I would like to say screw you to all law makers, cause it seems you have your heads up your asses and where you should be focusing your energy you’re not. Like pulling our state out of this hole we're in, I mean just a thought.
What’s funny is this law excluded Cigar bars, tobacco retailers and on Casino floors. Interesting that these places are excluded. However, Hookah bars do fall under this law. Ummm that seems ass backwards you mean to tell me Cigar Bars, can continue to have smoking, but a Hookah bar can’t. Hello, on some level isn’t a Hookah bar like a Cigar bar, people go to smoke. It’s what the business was started for. Alright, I would like to meet the dumb ass who wrote this bill. My guess is they go to Cigar Bars and the Casino. I personally think this is showing favoritism. Mr. Law maker let me clue you in on something if you’re going to make a rule, make sure it’s for everyone to follow! Not just so, when you go some place you can still enjoy your smoke. I mean if you go into school most of the school rules apply to everyone, not just certain groups. It’s contradiction of the powers that be at its greatest. Thanks once again for showing me how stupid you really are.
I would like to say I do get work places and places children might go to, but if you’re taking your kid to a bar after 9pm, someone should write a law banning you! They saying their doing it to protect people. Protecting!?!?!? Give them facts about second hand smoke and then if they don’t want the job, it’s their choice, but if they do take the job….don‘t complain. Last time I checked this is America the land of the free and the home of the motherfucking brave!!!!!!!! We know smoking kills, but so will my shampoo with all the PEGS in it. For those of you who don’t know what PEGS are; they are a carcinogen, meaning it’s a cancer-causing agent. In addition, the higher the PEG the more carcinogens you’re being exposed to. Hence, Mr. Law maker how about you ban people from using shampoo, it poses an unsafe risk to everyone, and can lead to health problems, and we all have shampoo in our homes! A great example is Salon’s they have shampoo and the hairdresser uses the shampoo. They have just risked my life, and I was not informed of this risk. Why don’t the lawmakers do something about that? Better yet let’s put a ban on war, because it harms and kill our family and friends. Oh yeah I know why cause they have double standards. They will send my family and friends off to war to die, but I can’t smoke in a bar because it poses too much of a threat to people. Does anyone but me see the double fucking standard?!?!?!?! While we’re on the topic this no smoking ban also includes Legions and VFW, I personally think these folks have earned their right to smoke in a bar, more than I have. They went to war for us protecting us, and if they want to go down to the Legion and have a drink and smoke LET THEM!!!!!!
Just so, nobody is confused I do love being American, but I personally do think that the Government is screwed in their thought process and the law the come up with. Maybe I’ll run for office; Senator Baldo, I like that I’ll keep that in mind for a later date.

Paying for dating…….

Hello friends who have been asking for this, and those of you stumbled upon this here you go………..

Recently a friend of mine suggested I try eHarmony. At first I thought, yeah because that has worked so well for me in the past. I will admit I have tried other online dating sites and Yahoo, is a free getting laid service. I will admit, that this was how I meet the love of my life, but for those of you who know me, know how that ended. However, he was the only one who wasn’t trying to get me in bed five minutes after meeting me. I also tried Match.com and it was okay. I meet someone, and he dropped I love you into a month of dating and… I was out. I mean come on let’s not jump the gun, we have only know each other a month. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but I personally don’t fall that fast. Online dating does work; I have meet people who it has worked for, and some who have had the same luck as myself. Therefore, last night I wasn’t sleeping and we all know what happens when we can’t sleep. We find ourselves lying in bed, thinking over our life and trying to formulate a new plan of action. In my planning stages at 3am, I decided yeah l’ll check this eHarmony thing out, and if this doesn’t work, well I’m just screwed. Picture this 3am in the morning, no much sleep, formulating my new plan to get a man. First I head over to their site and it’s draws you in with the wording and coloring, (mind you no sleep is like, kind of being drunk) and the happy couple smiling, as if life couldn’t be more blissful. The next step is to fill out a physiological profile. Okay, I’m game, but as I, start doing it, and it is very general questions. If any of you have taken one you know, but those of you haven’t it’s, a questioner that ask questions like; are you quick to anger, do you thing people are out to get you, and you have a scale of not at all to very much. Then there are the one word questions like; spirituality, selfishness, adventurous, spontaneous, and so forth…. At this point, I thinking what if the man or woman filling this out is crazy, and knows how to answer these questions to appear like a good match. I mean let’s be honest on a computer crazy can hide! Anyway and hour later I finish the physiological profile and I’m getting excited to see based on my answers what kind of person they think is right for me. But, before they take me to my matches pages they take me to the page on the site where you can sign up to respond and see who’s viewed you etc…..As it turns out you do get don’t really get to view your matches for free. All you get is a person’s name, their location and a few tid bits of info, on your match. HUH!!!!! You mean I sat in front of my computer at 3 in the morning, for over any hour an all I get is a name, age and some info. As it turns out for one month you can pay 59.95, and find out the right man for your, or if that’s not enough time you can get a trial offer in the first 7 days of sign up for 3 months at the low price of 24.95. The highest was 23.95 for twelve months, billed in on installment of 287.40. I about choked at these prices, I mean come on pay to meet someone! I guess what I want to know is do I get a refund if Mr. Wonderful is Mr. Crazy or Mr. Asshole? I mean that is a fair question and should be included in their fine print.

I guess what got me to thinking, was why and when did someone say pay this amount take a test and we guarantee you will meet the person right for you! ****cough, cough…bullshit**** I remember my mom years ago payed to place an ad in the penny saver to meet a man. I myself refuse to pay to meet someone. I mean what happen to the old-fashion way of he sees me and has to cross a busy road just to get my number. On the other hand, what about friends introducing you, that’s how my mom met my step dad. What about the singles mingles, or parent without partner dances? It’s like if you don’t sign up for and online dating site, then you won’t date or meet anyone. Call me old-fashion, a hopeless romantic, but there is something to be said for meeting a person face to face and getting to know them. Yeah I know well you can do that through the dating site. Sure after we spend constant hours IM, emailing back and forth till one person say’s “hey want to meet, in person?” You agree and come to find out there isn’t an ounce of chemistry, and their picture looked nothing like them. Talk about a letdown, that’s why I say let’s go back to the old way of meeting them on the street, through friends, singles groups, or heck even at my kids sporting event. There is something special about locking eyes with someone you know nothing about, talking for hours, and then exchanging numbers, and progressing from there. Couldn’t it be said that this is just high priced prostitution; I mean it’s not the same thing but essentially, I’m paying for a service to meet someone, which sounds a lot like prostitution. Why should I spend my hard-earned dollars on a dating site, to only be let down? I know eHarmony get results, or so they tell us on their ads, but what about the people who don’t meet anyone, or their perfect match is on the other side of the state. Yet, Match.com says you’ll meet someone six months guaranteed, or your next six months is free. Thanks match.com, I know can sleep knowing if I don’t meet someone in six months you’re going to give me a return on my investment. As if, I don’t have enough to worry about trying to meet someone online. I however meet someone in the first week, and got off cause again, I don’t believe in paying to get someone to date me. After last night I have made a choice to go back to the old fashion methods, I want to meet someone through friends; I want to go to parents without partner dance. That way I at least know what I’m getting from the start.

Well there it is, my take on online dating, you can try it if you’re so inclined, heck, some of you may have, and it worked. Either way it is an age-old dilemma for all of us single folks, to pay or not to pay to get a date that is the question of the 21^st century.