First off welcome!! In addition, the last time I gave you a bit of Baldoism; it was in regards to the smoking ban. However, today I’m addressing the issue of my mom, A.K.A. King Con. For those of you who don’t know I recently lost my mom two months ago. Losing my mom has not been easy, but today I would like to share a side of my mom that some knew, but not all had the joy and honor of knowing. My mom was a woman who had a wonderful sense of humor and brought joy to many. She had would snap out a euphemism quicker than anyone I knew, or you could be victim to her quick wit. King Con was not one to miss a beat. You’re wondering why I refer to her as King Con, well her name was Connie. And when I was in High school I had a friend one time refer to her as King Con and it stuck, of course she never knew about(at least I don’t think so). So, as I share some tales of King Con, be prepared to laugh, cry, or even laugh so hard you cry.
Where to start, so many funny stories pop out in my head about my mom. One that I remember was a time when I had a friend stay the night. This particular event took place at the dinner table, I in all my charm decided it would be cute and cleverly to flip off my mom. I did this as I raised my glass to take a drink of milk, of course not to be out done, and without missing a beat, she in return did the same. At the time, I thought I was being brave and bold, but little did I know she wouldn’t care. We laughed in the moment I’m not sure what was said, but I don’t remember getting in trouble. I’m not sure if it was because I had a friend there or because my mom was that laid back. I mean I was the third child and my brother and sister were long gone from home. King Con always seemed to tolerate more than most of my friends parents. Another time that sticks out, and it was the same friend that was over, but another night was when my mom was in a hurry to get to her bedroom to “Watch TV” with her boyfriend and she accidently put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. About five minutes into the cycle, my friends says “Umm Heather I think you might want to get your Mom” After I saw the suds all over the floor in the kitchen, I remember looking at my friend and then thinking: crap I don’t want to go get my mom, but I knew I had to and needless to say she was not pleased with the interruption. However, if she had not been in such a hurry to “Watch TV” this might not have occurred. I also at the time was wondering what was so good on TV, that she had to run to the bedroom, but as an adult, I now know, and the thought makes me a bit ill. (Thanks mom!!) Although she swore up and down it never happened, Odd how our parents remember things and claim they never happened. However, that moment has created a great topic of conversation for years now and I’m sure will years from now. Another great incident was what I like to refer to as the Tupperware smack down!!!!! The way it happened was all so in the moment, I remember her being on the phone and as any kid, and I thought that meant I could get away with more. I’m not sure if it was my mouth or actions that caused this, (knowing me it was probably both…hehe) but I remember she was upset and grabbed the Tupperware bowl next to me an smacked me with it a few good times. And as I got older, I would get more courage when I did something and say did you want me to get the Tupperware mom? That was the beauty of my mom I could always joke with her.
Subsequently, there are my favorite euphemism sayings that she would say when I did or asked something. Like if I came out dressed and ready for school, and she thought my hair wasn’t combed properly she would instinctively say: What did you comb your hair with a wagon wheel. Of course being her daughter I would respond: Yup! And of course, I knew as soon as I said it I had better duck and make sure all Tupperware was out of site. Another, of my favorites was when I asked her who was on the phone, at first she would ignore and go on with her conversation. So I would stand there asking who, mom, who, and in King Con fashion, she would respond: Are your feet fit for a limb? Of course, at first, I didn’t understand what she was saying and until I knew what this meant I stopped asking her who was on the phone. I will say I have used it on my son and it still has the same affect today. Another classic she used was if she went to visit people or they came to visit her she would always say: Glad you got to see me! LOL, of course my mother would say this and people would turn and look at her like what did you just say? I heard this many times from her, and there was a period when I used it, because I liked the reaction it would create. It’s a fun statement I recommend you try it once or twice, King Con would want it that way.
My mother was a true Gem, and she always had some pearls of Wisdom. One that is still my favorite, which I laugh about often, is that after I had my son. We were talking about his father and she chimed up with her famous Dr. Phil quote “How’s that working for Ya?” Let me tell you, she loved her Dr. Phil and would quote him at any given moment. I can hear her now “you know Dr. Phil says, or I was watching Dr. Phil today and he said.” Of course, you never knew when she would direct it at you. Then in King Con fashion, last Nov she chimed up with “You know Dr. Phil says if you’re not married by the time your 35, you won’t get married” Needless to say my jaw hit the ground and of course the jokes stared. Thus not to let it go one of friends and I went to a Lions football game for Thanksgiving and my friend made the sign “Husband need, Dr. Phil and my mom say I have two good years left.” I have to say I held the sign up with pride in hopes of getting on TV, or a Husband. I mean heck two years isn’t much time, and now I’m almost down to a year. So if you’re an employed man, and you have a pulse get at me!!! .....Those are just a few of the wonderful moments I had with my mom, and even in her final hours she could still give a look or a gesture and make you laugh. I remember a moment at the Hospital her best friend was trying to get her attention and said “Connie Lynn if you can hear me raise your hand” of course none of us knew that as she was raising her hand she would also give one-handed salute. Well maybe we did, but either way it is a moment I will remember forever. Along with many other wonderful things about my mom. In closing I would like to say my mom was one of a kind, and now I can hear her voice saying “Maybe in your next life you’ll get a better mother” to which I would say I don’t, and I couldn’t have had a better mother nor do I want another. Mom you were one in a Million RIP and I love!!!
Where to start, so many funny stories pop out in my head about my mom. One that I remember was a time when I had a friend stay the night. This particular event took place at the dinner table, I in all my charm decided it would be cute and cleverly to flip off my mom. I did this as I raised my glass to take a drink of milk, of course not to be out done, and without missing a beat, she in return did the same. At the time, I thought I was being brave and bold, but little did I know she wouldn’t care. We laughed in the moment I’m not sure what was said, but I don’t remember getting in trouble. I’m not sure if it was because I had a friend there or because my mom was that laid back. I mean I was the third child and my brother and sister were long gone from home. King Con always seemed to tolerate more than most of my friends parents. Another time that sticks out, and it was the same friend that was over, but another night was when my mom was in a hurry to get to her bedroom to “Watch TV” with her boyfriend and she accidently put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. About five minutes into the cycle, my friends says “Umm Heather I think you might want to get your Mom” After I saw the suds all over the floor in the kitchen, I remember looking at my friend and then thinking: crap I don’t want to go get my mom, but I knew I had to and needless to say she was not pleased with the interruption. However, if she had not been in such a hurry to “Watch TV” this might not have occurred. I also at the time was wondering what was so good on TV, that she had to run to the bedroom, but as an adult, I now know, and the thought makes me a bit ill. (Thanks mom!!) Although she swore up and down it never happened, Odd how our parents remember things and claim they never happened. However, that moment has created a great topic of conversation for years now and I’m sure will years from now. Another great incident was what I like to refer to as the Tupperware smack down!!!!! The way it happened was all so in the moment, I remember her being on the phone and as any kid, and I thought that meant I could get away with more. I’m not sure if it was my mouth or actions that caused this, (knowing me it was probably both…hehe) but I remember she was upset and grabbed the Tupperware bowl next to me an smacked me with it a few good times. And as I got older, I would get more courage when I did something and say did you want me to get the Tupperware mom? That was the beauty of my mom I could always joke with her.
Subsequently, there are my favorite euphemism sayings that she would say when I did or asked something. Like if I came out dressed and ready for school, and she thought my hair wasn’t combed properly she would instinctively say: What did you comb your hair with a wagon wheel. Of course being her daughter I would respond: Yup! And of course, I knew as soon as I said it I had better duck and make sure all Tupperware was out of site. Another, of my favorites was when I asked her who was on the phone, at first she would ignore and go on with her conversation. So I would stand there asking who, mom, who, and in King Con fashion, she would respond: Are your feet fit for a limb? Of course, at first, I didn’t understand what she was saying and until I knew what this meant I stopped asking her who was on the phone. I will say I have used it on my son and it still has the same affect today. Another classic she used was if she went to visit people or they came to visit her she would always say: Glad you got to see me! LOL, of course my mother would say this and people would turn and look at her like what did you just say? I heard this many times from her, and there was a period when I used it, because I liked the reaction it would create. It’s a fun statement I recommend you try it once or twice, King Con would want it that way.
My mother was a true Gem, and she always had some pearls of Wisdom. One that is still my favorite, which I laugh about often, is that after I had my son. We were talking about his father and she chimed up with her famous Dr. Phil quote “How’s that working for Ya?” Let me tell you, she loved her Dr. Phil and would quote him at any given moment. I can hear her now “you know Dr. Phil says, or I was watching Dr. Phil today and he said.” Of course, you never knew when she would direct it at you. Then in King Con fashion, last Nov she chimed up with “You know Dr. Phil says if you’re not married by the time your 35, you won’t get married” Needless to say my jaw hit the ground and of course the jokes stared. Thus not to let it go one of friends and I went to a Lions football game for Thanksgiving and my friend made the sign “Husband need, Dr. Phil and my mom say I have two good years left.” I have to say I held the sign up with pride in hopes of getting on TV, or a Husband. I mean heck two years isn’t much time, and now I’m almost down to a year. So if you’re an employed man, and you have a pulse get at me!!! .....Those are just a few of the wonderful moments I had with my mom, and even in her final hours she could still give a look or a gesture and make you laugh. I remember a moment at the Hospital her best friend was trying to get her attention and said “Connie Lynn if you can hear me raise your hand” of course none of us knew that as she was raising her hand she would also give one-handed salute. Well maybe we did, but either way it is a moment I will remember forever. Along with many other wonderful things about my mom. In closing I would like to say my mom was one of a kind, and now I can hear her voice saying “Maybe in your next life you’ll get a better mother” to which I would say I don’t, and I couldn’t have had a better mother nor do I want another. Mom you were one in a Million RIP and I love!!!
Connie Lynn (Walker) Mak
1945-2010
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